This Life or The Next
by HaloHunter89
Summary: His last thoughts were of Carol and that in this life or the next they'd be together.


**This won't be everyone's cup of tea. Major Character Death.**

He set reflecting feeling as the doors swung open and he was pulled out of the back of the van. He was sore, losing blood, but had enough wits to know how truly hopeless the situation was. Michonne had tried to stop the bleeding hours before but it was no use. He'd told her as much and even her sharp look couldn't keep his thoughts and instincts from whispering to him what was happening. It'd gone from bad to worse...the story of his life. His movements were sluggish and his mind felt like it was trying to move through thick sludge. Like quicksand the more he struggled to pay attention the further he sunk.

He was aware that the same son of a bitch from earlier was talking. He knew he should be trying to get a grasp on what he was saying. Try to do something but he was forced to his knees instead as his body slumped. Daryl's days now mirroring the setting sun vacant of her blue. It'd been hers since the beginning of the end and what he wouldn't give to see it one last time before the light snuffed out.

He snorted thinking what Merle would be saying to him. Seeing him there bleeding and broken. He'd call him a pussy and tell him to pick his dick up off the ground and do something. It was hard to fight when you didn't have the heart for it. The only reassuring thought was that his heart was well and truly far from this man and his goons.

" _Did he laugh_?"

Daryl looked up and blinked as blood trickled into his eye. That man was in front of him again swinging that bat around like he was demonstrating some grandiose idea. His vision blurred and he thought he heard her voice. Searching through the haze he couldn't find her and let out a breath. It was fading to black around him.

" _DARYL_!"

He knew that voice but struggled to really place who it was. Rick? Glenn? His chest burned and he thought of Judith. Still so young and innocent for this world. He just hoped she had a fighting chance. Hell her chances were better than his when he'd been her age. At least she had that going for her. If Daryl Dixon could survive to be in his forties then Judith Grimes would die of old age. She'd had some of the strongest people he'd ever known watching out for her.

Rick, Carl, Glenn, Maggie, Hershel, Lori, Tyreese, and Carol. Carol told him the promise she made Lori all that time ago. She promised to look out for those kids like they were own. He knew raising Judith tore at her but it healed her at the same time. Carol was never the same after losing Sophia but she hadn't been broken like everyone assumed. He told her once that they weren't ashes and he believed that.

Daryl grunted as he was jostled forward. He didn't bothering fighting against the rough hands holding onto his bleeding shoulder. He was almost numb from blood loss. He closed his eyes and let himself search for his memories of her.

Carol's smile was the first thing he'd remembered about her. How she could smile after he knew Ed beat her he hadn't understood at the time. Her lip was bloody and she had a bruised jaw but he got it. He got it because he'd followed her eyes and seen her watching her daughter. She protected Sophia the best she could and if it meant getting bloody then she wasn't going to be shamed.

He'd been awkward when he told her about that Cherokee rose and the story around it. Her eyes watering looking at him like he was her last hope. He'd wanted to leave the group then. He'd been dead set on it. Even her coming up there and him yelling hadn't done anything. It was that look and it sealed his fate before he ever knew it. What he wouldn't give to go back to that time and shake himself. Tell himself to stop being a fucking pussy and say something.

It all tore past the back of his eyelids like his own private movie screening. Each memory making his heart swell and his chest expand with pride for her. She was safe. She wasn't here. She would survive this. Even in death he'd miss her.

" _This one's already dead from the looks of it_."

Daryl blinked grunted as he was kneed in the back. Glenn's pleading voice next to him snapped him out of the fog momentarily. He looked over at him and let his eye really look around. Maggie was here. She looked as sick as he did and he felt his stomach churn.

 _"It'd be a mercy._ "

 _"NO!_ "

Was that Rick yelling now? He tried to look over but pain shot through his shoulder. Searing and hot causing his breath to rush from him. Slumping further he felt warm blood spread further down his chest. Making it stand out even more in contrast to the cold of the night.

He made to move further. He had time to meet Rick's eyes but it wasn't exactly Rick's he was seeing. Pale blue was glittering back at him. That same smile when he'd thrown that stupid jug when he'd tried to help her. Rick was speaking urgently but he just blinked. It was like his hearing was in a tunnel and he was only catching echoes. There was no coming back. There was a whistle through the air and screams.

His last thoughts were of Carol and that in this life or the next they'd be together. Always.

* * *

Carol snapped awake the same dream plaguing her that had been for the last month. Her heart was beating erratically. She couldn't get any air and she felt a sob tear through her chest and rattle her soul. She could still hear the screams as he laid there bloodied and broken.

Swinging her legs around she rubbed her face. Her own mind was trying to tell her something. She knew she had to go back. Trying to get her heart to stop racing Carol stood. She'd already had her bags packed She made this decision earlier in the week but they wanted to make sure she was fully healed before she left again.

Morgan pushing her to rest a bit longer. She didn't need his advice. She knew her body and she knew her heart was breaking being here. Being away from her family. Away from him.

Grabbing her bags after dressing she slipped outside. The air was cool and the night was young. She wasn't scared of what was out there. Carol learned a long time ago that she could be the real danger when something stood between her and her family. She'd had it in her all those years even when she'd been with Ed. It just took longer to rears its head.

The dream stayed on repeat in her mind as she made the trip home to Alexandria. She wasn't wholly prepared to face everyone. She'd ran. They would welcome her with open arms but would he? He'd left once. He'd left with his brother because Merle seemed like an impossible circumstance but he'd come back. He'd found her when the others wrote her off as dead. He refused to believe she was truly gone.

Seeing the gate in front of her was like a weight from her chest. She hadn't realized how much she missed her family until coming back. When the gates opened Rosita's eyes were a little wider and she was a little paler but Carol was happy to see her. She gave Carol a smile but it didn't touch her eyes, whose did anymore anyways?

People turned and looked at her as she walked through. She didn't know them all but Aaron and Daryl were recruiters so she assumed these were people they'd found. It made her smile to know that their little world didn't stop turning because she needed to breathe and get her shit together. It'd done her good though. She'd been ready to hide from the world and all the people in it. She hadn't thought she could do this anymore, caring for people, but without them life would be desolate.

"Carol?"

Carol's head snapped over and Carl was looking at her like he'd seen a ghost. Carol took two steps and wrapped him in her arms. When his arms came around her they were tighter than he'd ever held her. He was shaking in her arms and she searched for his dad. Their house wasn't but the next one down the street.

Carl stepped away from her and swallowed. The front door opened and Rick was coming outside. Carl pushed her that way and walked quietly next to her. When she came to the bottom of the steps her first impression was Rick looked gaunt. His haggard appearance made her want to take a step back. This was Rick from when Lori died. This wasn't a man she expected to ever see again, not since he got left in those tombs.

"Carol?" His voice was hoarse.

Carl pushed her and she was up the steps hugging him. Her eyes searched frantically for Judith dreading to hear that something happened to her. Rick hugged her like she was the air he needed to breathe. He was breathing deeply and Carol stepped back searching his eyes. They were wet and red.

He shoved the door open and Carol stepped inside. Michonne was coming down the steps holding Judith. Carol felt something in her lurch. Some sixth sense making her skin crawl and her instincts cry out.

She met Rick's eyes and he could scarcely hold her own. The screams of her dreams echoing through her mind made her chest burn.

"Where is he?" She demanded.

Michonne handed Carl Judith and he gave Carol a last look before slipping out the front door. The soft click sealing her in with Rick and Michonne was like a gunshot. Michonne's bottom lip quivered and Carol felt her chest tighten.

"Carol…." Rick stepped closer to her.

"Where is he!" She barked. "Was he bit!" Panic wrapped around her like a python, squeezing the life from her and she let it.

"He's gone Carol." Rick's hoarse voice shook with emotion. Michonne's eyes spilled the tears that had started to threaten since she walked down those steps and seen her.

"Gone." Carol heard herself say but didn't remember saying it. "How?" Carol questioned. The words tasted like ash and salt in her mouth. The salt she realized was her own tears.

"Negan." Rick stepped towards her.

Carol staggered a step. "He can't….no." Carol shook her head and felt her stomach heave. She threw her hand out gripping the wall. "Where is he Rick?"

"He'd been shot in the chest. He'd lost a lot of blood and without Denise here to help he wouldn't have likely made it anyways." Rick cleared his throat. "Negan wanted to make an example."

Carol felt herself start to shake and coughed. It was like she was breathing in the ash now and not even the salt of her own watery tears were helping. Everything was dry, broke, brittle, and she felt like this hollowness of it all was going to consume her. A husk of a home left after a fire ripped through it. Home was where the heart was but where the hell was her heart if not here?

Michonne grabbed her when her knees buckled and they both crashed to the ground. She was shaking violently against Michonne's chest and great wracking sobs were spilling from her body from depths she didn't even know were there. How did you come back from your heart dying without taking your body with it? Daryl Dixon couldn't be dead.

"Where is he?" She gasped out through her tears.

Rick hit his knees in front of her. Carol looked up but it wasn't the same. He was talking but she didn't hear him. She could almost swear Daryl was there in the room. His presence always took up more space. His voice that quiet rumble that was so reminiscent of American muscle. It wasn't Michonne's arms wrapped around her anymore but the same ones that held her through the grief of Sophia coming from inside the barn. She could even smell him. Mint, leather, oil, and smoke with something distinctly Daryl. This life that seemed so long and hopeless seemed so short in terms of Daryl being here and gone.

She could have swore she felt his snorted laugh disturb the hair at the nape of her neck. How could a dead man be breathing? She never gave consideration to soul mates but it felt like a piece of her died. Her own heart knew before her mind did that Daryl was gone.

Carol pushed away from Michonne and felt Michonne let her go but that same tight feeling like his arms were around her stayed. Her chest felt like a dead weight and she knew her heart wouldn't beat again. Sophia was almost a killing blow but losing Daryl was finishing her. She was strong on the surface as she fought her panic down.

"Carol." Rick pleaded.

Carol met his eyes and Rick let out a breath. Michonne was by him and they both looked like they were getting ready to have a full panic attack.

 _"_ Where'd you go?"

"I think she's in shock _."_ Michonne's voice was soft.

"You just...your eyes were just gone. You weren't even there. It's been twenty minutes." Rick's voice was lost.

" _This life or the next_." Daryl's voice echoed through her mind as that same soft breath blew against her nape and his arms tightened.

"I'm here." Carol's voice was a soft brokenness that made both people in front of her flinch. She didn't care, she wasn't talking to them.


End file.
